I’ve heard it my whole life. “Be patient.” Anxious. Impulsive. Impatient. Am I really these things? Are these my descriptors? I didn’t set out to define myself in this way. I have worked so hard over the years on this idea to “be more patient.” I have achieved this – where other people are concerned. I have learned to stay calm and to listen. To give advice when due and validate and agree when it’s needed. I pride myself on being a support system for those I love. I want to be reliable and respected, cherished and valued. BUT – who am I not patient with? Where does impulsivity seep out? When I’m concerned. When I look in the mirror. When I look at my life and how it is panning out… that’s when it’s evident. I want the change to be immediate. I want to know where it’s heading. I want the answers.
Suddenly this seems so unrealistic and unreasonable. To offer this to others and not own it within oneself. When so much changes and life takes a sharp turn, I should be embracing the hope and opportunity. I will look ahead into the foggy future and wait. I will make choices and decisions along the way that are positive and healthy and for good – and hope that all this will bring a future full of health and happiness and love. I will be patient with the journey and know that the end does not define me.